Haters Gonna Hate

When I was in middle school (Jr. High), I was on the volleyball team. I remember one day in particular when we were at a tournament. After our last game, our team hit the locker room to change to go home. A girl on my team said loud for all to hear, "You know, I use to feel sorry for you because you are fat, but then I realized that you can change that. Now I just feel sorry for you because I know your parents will never have enough money to change your face." It didn't feel good, and I held onto it for years.

Skip forward. I remember talking to one of my best friends about trying to lose weight. I was excited as always about the possibilities of who I could become. She had a particular look on her face and I simply stopped and said, "What?" She grinned and chuckled then said, "I just can't picture it. You would look so WEIRD as a NORMAL sized person!" Not meaning to hurt me, but again held onto that for years.

Present Day. The end of the first week of this journey I had to go to work on a Saturday. We were changing some offices around and I needed to be present. I didn't have to smell or look good to help with manual labor, so I decided to get a little extra exercise in.  I pulled out my bike, put on my helmet, and headed for work. It's been a while since I've felt that cool breeze on my face, or what it was like to "coast" down a hill. I haven't biked for YEARS. I took as many back roads as possible, but inevitably had to go down some pretty populated streets to get to work. I was biking down McKinley street headed to the main road when I spotted them. There were two guys at the edge of the road loading the back of one of their Toyota trucks with what appeared to be moving items. Apparently they thought a person with a helmet cannot hear. As I approached them I saw one elbow the other and motion his head toward me saying, "Dude, check out the fat chick on the bike." They were literally feet away from me, but I waited until I was passing right next to them to look them in the eye and say, "Good for me! Right?!?" They were mortified. It was hilarious.

Present Day Again. A couple weeks after my second weigh in (next post will reveal second weigh in, promise), we had a work Christmas Party. I was feeling pretty good about the weight I had lost and decided I deserved a new sweater to wear to the party. I went to one of my favorite stores that has a plus size section that is still cute clothes. (I have no idea why most places think fat people have horrible taste as well.) Mind you it was the holiday season, so I could have been there shopping for loved ones instead of myself. I was in the store about ten seconds and had gone straight to a cute shirt that had some texture. As I mingled the sleeve through my fingers a young sales associate practically sprinted toward me saying, "MA'AM! (finally got to me) Ma'am, have you been in the store since we've changed things?" With a slightly confused look, I replied I hadn't. "Well, we rearranged the store and moved the plus size section over there (pointing). I just wanted to make sure you were in the right section before you started shopping." Yeah.... nothing was going to look good on me at that point. I went to the plus sized section, tried a couple things on, but left empty handed. I did, however, leave smiling. I thought, "What a pleasant little naive way of telling me how far I still have to come. Don't stop Julie. You have lost some good weight, but don't stop. You got this."

Two stories from the past, two stories from current day. What's the difference?

I am far from wise, but like to think I've learned a few things throughout life. It has taken me SO LONG to understand one simple thing: NO ONE understands YOUR journey better than yourself. Not your family, your friends, and certainly not ignorant strangers. You alone know how you feel, your accomplishments and what you have in you to achieve your goals. I've learned that I need to be my own cheerleader and my own best friend. It seems to me when we care about what others say, that really it is because we are seeking validation from them. Why on EARTH would you seek validation from someone that does not fully understand your journey and what you feel? They can have similar experiences, but even with trying to explain yourself over and over again, and even with all the other person's experiences, the best we can do is empathize with another. The only person we need to seek validation from is ourselves. Are you happy with the effort that you've put in? Do you think the good choices outweigh the bad in your journey? (We all make bad choices, don't think I don't know :) ).

Taylor Swift had it right. Haters gonna hate, but Shake it Off! They don't matter. They don't understand. We matter, and we understand. Shake it off, jump it off, run it off, brush it off! You have got this! You are an amazing human being. It really always amazing me what people can do. The possibilities are endless. I am not a person that lets others tell me what I can and can't do, what I can and can't accomplish. Enjoy and join the journey!

To watch or listen to Taylor Swift's "Shake it Off" click here! Get your jam on!